


Stardust of Yesterday

by Iben



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s-esque, Coruscant (Star Wars), F/M, Female Armitage Hux, Rule 63, Wartime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 01:09:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iben/pseuds/Iben
Summary: Her arm was looped through his and he felt solid, his presence tangible next to her, as they strolled down the street, past neon signs and vendors selling fast food and hot drinks. No matter where you were on the planet, on what level, there were always dark corners, places away from prying eyes, and following their usual routine, they found one.





	Stardust of Yesterday

They had been to a dance hall at a lower level of the city, although not so low to be considered the actual Coruscant underworld. Armitage had no intention of ever setting foot below level 4000 if she could help it, in part because it was beneath her and in part because she would be afraid to go there. Although, maybe with Ben she wouldn’t be. 

Her arm was looped through his and he felt solid, his presence tangible next to her, as they strolled down the street, past neon signs and vendors selling fast food and hot drinks. 

Ben was a soldier, a pilot, and on top of that, he was a Force wielder, like the Jedi had been. Armitage didn’t understand that strange, mystical power, nor was she interested in the old Jedi religion, but Ben hadn’t said much about it anyway. 

But she felt safe with him, safe enough not to mind this late night walk, even though she was lower into the city than she had ever been before. If she tilted her head back she could see the sky above, just a sliver of it, but still visible. 

There were dance halls all over the city, but this one, the one where they had just been, was one Ben had heard of and she could see why; even here in the street there were officers everywhere, some of them walking in small groups with their comrades, some with girls on their arms. 

“Are you hungry?” Ben asked when they walked past yet another food stall.

Armitage shook her head. She wasn’t, but even if she had been, she probably wouldn’t have been able to eat. A swarm of jittery nerves were tightening in the pit of her belly. 

No matter where you were on the planet, on what level, there were always dark corners, places away from prying eyes, and following their usual routine, they found one. They kissed there in the shadows, his mouth warm against hers. She always got up on tiptoes when they did, because he was so tall. 

She liked him. She liked him quite a lot. Even though he was a soldier there was something almost sweet about him. At first she’d thought of that as a sign of weakness, but she had grown to appreciate it. He was kind to her and that felt nice. 

There had been a few of these kissing sessions before he put a hand on her breast and a few more before he asked her to do anything more. ‘Can you touch it?’ he’d asked, his voice slightly breathless. She had agreed, in part because she felt that it was expected of her and in part because she was curious. It had been hot against her fingers, very hard, but surprisingly smooth, the skin so very soft.

She had decided she was going to do more than touch it tonight. She was going to go all the way with him. He was shipping out tomorrow morning and she wanted to do it, because she wanted him to come back for her. But there was another reason too; she wanted to do it in case he never came back. 

He had never done it before. He hadn’t outright told her, but she could read between the lines. She had never done it either. She felt nervous, but curious too. She had never let his hands in underneath her clothes, but she liked kissing him and she liked it when he held her and touched her. 

Their tongues were gliding smoothly against each other and she thought maybe it was going to be a bit like this, like his tongue in her mouth. Even if he hadn’t been holding her close enough for her to be able to feel it, she would have known he was hard in his pants. The evidence was there in his hot breath, the intensity of his mouth against hers, the way his hands were gripping her back and her waist. He wanted to do it, she knew he did, and the fact that he didn’t ask was actually part of why she was going to offer. 

“Do you want to do it?” she asked, quickly, before she lost her nerve. 

He paused. It was too dark for her to be able to really see his expression, but she thought he might be surprised.

“Do you want to?” he asked.

She had not expected that question. She almost didn’t know what to say. 

“Yes,” she said.

Despite her answer he hesitated, almost as if he knew she wasn’t being entirely truthful. Or didn’t he want to? The idea hadn’t even crossed her mind. 

“Yes, I want to,” he said and she had the eerie feeling that he’d just read her mind.

Or he might just have replied to her original question. Either way, she didn’t have time to ponder it before he kissed her again. There was a new urgency to it now. 

The logistics was an aspect she hadn’t given much thought to beforehand. In holovids people just sort of fell into bed, before the frame faded to black. There was no bed to fall into here, but she knew that wasn’t necessary. 

She was wearing a dress, she’d wanted to look nice because they were going dancing, but she had to step out of her panties. Then she didn’t know what to do with them. Was she just going to hold them in her hand? That felt pretty stupid. She didn’t have any pockets, but he did, so she stuffed them in one of his. Not very romantic.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked. 

He sounded a bit uncertain.

“Yeah, okay,” she said, not sure exactly how this was supposed to go, except for the most basic aspects, but she figured that maybe he knew a bit more than she did? 

His fingers, sliding in between her legs, felt uncertain too. The intimacy of him touching her there, the skin on skin contact, was startling. She couldn’t help but to wonder what he was thinking, what she felt like to him. His probing fingers didn’t feel bad, just weird, but exciting too. She felt aware of how different they were, how different his hands were from her own, and their different bodies. 

Then, when they were about to get down to business, he picked her up and held her against the wall, his large palms warm against her naked butt. He had unzipped his pants first. She felt something blunt push against her and she knew that was the head of his penis. But it didn’t go in. She realized after a little while that it was in the wrong place. 

Maybe it was because they were doing it like this, maybe if they had been lying down it would have been simpler. Even though she knew he was a virgin too, she had somehow expected him to know how to do this. Now she wasn’t sure what to do.

“Wait,” she said. 

She had her arms around his neck, but she wriggled one hand down between them, until her fingers found his hard penis. She tried to guide it right. She’d put her own fingers inside herself enough times to know where it was supposed to go.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay. Try again.”

She held on to his shoulders and he pressed against her. For a moment she thought it wasn’t going to work, even though he was in the right place now, but then it slid in. And it hurt. She had heard it might, but that still didn’t prepare her. She grimaced, trying not to make a sound. 

And then it was over, almost before it had begun. He pushed into her maybe four times and then he stopped. For a few seconds he held her, neither of them moving, neither of them speaking, and then he pulled out and put her down. 

“I’m sorry,” he said when he had zipped up his pants.

It was too dark for her to see if his cheeks were burning, but she could tell he was embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” she said. 

She figured he was apologizing for the lack of longevity. Or maybe because he hadn't pulled out before he finished. She had expected him to do so. Surely he had to know you were supposed to?

She didn’t know what else to say. 

“I…” he began, but then he didn’t finish. Maybe he didn’t know what to say either. 

It was quiet for a second.

“Can I have my panties back?” she asked then.

He put his hand in his pocket and handed them to her. She put them on. 

She felt like she had to fix this. She wanted him to marry her, when the war was over. She took his hand. 

“I wanted it to be you,” she said and she was grateful for the darkness, because talking about it now, after, was embarrassing. “I’m glad it was you.”

He didn’t say anything. 

“Did you not like it?” she asked after a moment, uncertainty creeping over her. 

“I did. But… I guess it wasn’t very nice for you.”

“It hurt a little, but I’ve heard that’s normal, the first time.”

“I’m sorry.”

She squeezed his hand and then she got up on tiptoes and kissed him. She couldn’t think of anything else to say, but it was true what she had told him. She was glad it was him. She even felt a jittery sort of joy now, because they had done it, and she felt very fond of him. 

“Maybe next time will be different,” she whispered in his ear.

Next time he had to pull out. Just this one time was probably okay.

He looked at her. The faint light from the street beyond the alley was reflected in his dark eyes. 

“If you want to?” she said, smiling a little.

He smiled back and nodded. “Yeah,” he said.

And it felt alright again, the strained atmosphere fading away. 

He walked her home, he always did, even when, like tonight, they had to take a shuttle part of the way. Outside her building they kissed. They always did that too, but it felt different this time. He was going away and she didn’t know when, or even if, he would be coming back. He knew that too and he lingered a little longer than he had on previous evenings. 

“Will you write?” he asked.

It was an arcane way to put it. The most common form of long-distance communication was recorded messages. But she knew what he meant and she nodded. He smiled a little. 

He wasn’t very handsome. In fact, he had quite an odd-looking face and his ears were big and protruding, although his long hair mostly obscured them. But she liked him anyway. If anything, she prefered that he wasn’t one of those dashing pilots who looked like recruitment posters, because they had hordes of girls running after them. Ben had a nice smile and kind eyes. 

He pushed her hair behind her ear. She wondered what it would have been like if they had met before the war, when their time together hadn’t been limited. It was difficult to imagine, but she supposed it would have been different. Truth was they didn’t know each other very well. She supposed he was her boyfriend, because he didn’t go out with any other girls, as far as she knew, but the war was this big obstacle in the way of her plot to get him to propose. 

Some small part of her had been hoping he might do so tonight, his last night on Coruscant, and after they had been intimate with each other, but he didn’t. He kissed her one last time, then he waited on the street until she was safely inside and she tried not to be disappointed.


End file.
